vesta_aurelia: Fangirl your Armor (goutte-y)
I had my hand kissed this weekend. Thrice.
Once by a fellow I think is a likely competitor to my designation of Morgan the True-Hearted as "the parfait, gentile cnicht" -- Sir Brand de deus Lyons (sp?). I was at the Viking luau thrown by the King and Queen of the West at An Tir/West War and I introduced myself to Sir Brand to thank him for the fun tournament he'd sponsored after the fighting on Saturday. (It was to raise funds for cancer research, which was totally cool. The SCA is full of generous-hearted people!) He kissed my hand by way of greeting. His hand-kissing was ... not "loaded" with anything. It was like a handshake. Not that it was cold or impersonal. It just seemed as natural and uncontrived as breathing -- as if it flowed out of him like water from a glass.
Not so the other two.
vesta_aurelia: Fangirl your Armor (Default)
One of my coworkers told me, "You're only almost a girl."

This was in response to a conversation wherein I declared my dislike of fancy shoes, clothes shopping, makeup and the characters in Sex and the City. (I consider it a vile, insidious, nasty little psychosocial virus...)

This has prompted me to really examine how I've constructed my social gender (as different from my biological sex)... and to determine that, really, Gender Roles Suck. I expressed to Trudchen my dissatisfaction with the suckitude of gender roles and she reminded me that gender roles give people some idea of how to categorize someone and that, if those roles didn't exist, people "wouldn't know what to do with" me. My heartfelt retort was, "Well, I don't know what to do with me, so I don't mind spreading the pain."

And I think about Lord Lyon and Lord Ieuann, two SCA people I know who, although of the female sex have chosen a male SCA gender. 
And I think about Dr. Jane Robinson... I mean, Dr. James Robinson.
And I think about how someone told me that Vesta was "socially male."
And I think about how I really, really, really dislike babies.

And I realize that I am just... irritated? vexed? unhappy?.... no,... dis-satisfied. I am dis-satisfied with my gender.

I am ... irritated... with my sex, usually 4-5 days out of every 28 (yes, little ovaries run like clockwork). It's messy, it's smelly, and one ends up having to worry about the clothes, the supplies, the cravings, the blah blah blah. Menstruation is such a waste of time and energy, since I've chosen non-replicating status. 

So many of what people perceive as the social benefits of gendering female are tied to the biological sex role. When one discards the biological, extricating the social gendering becomes problematic. Even neo-paganism is no help -- all the art and liturgy about gravid Mothering.... *sigh*

There are so many things which I see as a benefit of being human, not either male or female. Bare skin. Opposable thumbs. Language. Society. Thought.  But right now, I'm not seeing any benefit to me, personally, of being female, neither socially nor biologically. 

The opportunity to be "pretty"?  I'd say those new young male undewear models are getting mighty "pretty".  Not exactly a female trait.
Wearing lace? Have you seen my wardrobe? Do you really thing lace -- or other fripperies -- is an issue?
Chance to get laid whenever I want? I'm a fighter in the SCA. That's pretty much a given, really. Sad, but true.
Bearing the next generation? Erm, not a benefit for me. More like a penalty.
Multiple orgasms (this seems to be a big one for people)? Well, it's nice and all, but that's not enough. Multiple orgasms as THE reason it's cool to be a chick?   ... I SO don't think so.

Being gendered female just ... just... it just pisses me off and makes me feel like I got the short straw. Like I missed out on something. Like someone played a joke on me that everyone's laughing about and that I just don't understand.

So, that's what I've been contemplating lately


vesta_aurelia: Fangirl your Armor (Default)

January 2016

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